Aries Season Interlude
hi i still exist and i’m still pondering existence!
Everyone, if I’ve been acting weird lately, it’s because of the Solar Eclipse and the ongoing Mercury Retrograde, both occurring in Aries, which happens to be my rising sign, which means it’s happening in my first house, which is the house of self!!!!! Some empathy, please.
I’m a bit obsessed with this idea of “finding myself.” It’s about time I live out a mid-20s coming-of-age novel, character-driven with barely a plot, complete with flowery language and run-on sentences. Life through vibes!
But I think I’ve always been trying to find myself—I easily would’ve made that same coming-of-age novel joke in my early 20s, and further still, in my early teens, obsessed with figuring out who I am and what I’m put on this Earth to do. As I often say, life is just an ongoing identity crisis and I live it daily, waiting for the moment when something clicks and I could finally say, yes. This is my deal.
As much as I try to define myself into existence, I forget that we do not exist in permanence. Our time in this body is temporal. Whatever my “deal” is, it will not continue beyond this state of being.
And even as I search for this sense of self, is it not ever changing? Is that not the point of living and growing? When I try to define myself, are they reflections on a past self or are they manifestations for a future one?
My infatuation with the stars and planets lies in the thought that as I am ever changing, so are they. It’s why yes, your exact birth time, not an estimation comes into play because these entities are constantly shifting and moving and conjuncting and opposing. Like the sun sets and the moon phases without any regard from us, so does the rest of the solar system.
Though astrology can be used as a predictive resource, I use it for grounding. The first house of self is all about purpose and identity and self-image. I feel a sense of pressure to delineate my past and my future, what has led me here and what it will lead me to.
But there is the current moment, which is all that we really have and all that really matters. Defining myself does not have to feel like musings on a past truth or a future one. As I shift my awareness to the present, it’s a reminder that I exist alongside the universe. It’s how I feel here, now. With a breath in, I’m reminded of being alive.
Some recs (Astrology edition!):
“Moon Tour” by Taeyong
“Saturns Return Interlude” by Ariana Grande
ty for your patience. Surely, this is continuing, right? Hope you’re well. <3
You can read my previous post here: A 2023 Retrospective. (lol)
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